


What gets left behind

by ImagineShannons



Category: Captain America (Movies), Captain America - All Media Types, Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: AU, Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Amnesia, F/M, M/M, Multi, POV Bucky Barnes, POV Howard Stark, POV Steve Rogers, Past Bucky Barnes/Steve Rogers, Post-Captain America: The First Avenger, Pre-Captain America: The First Avenger, Protective Bucky Barnes, Sad!Bucky, Shifting Timeline, Steve Rogers and the 21st Century, Stucky - Freeform, Tumblr Prompt, Winter Soldier Bucky Barnes, Winter Soldier!Bucky, Young!Steve, peggy/steve(mentioned, young!Bucky
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-11-25
Updated: 2015-11-28
Packaged: 2018-04-07 05:58:08
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 2,578
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4252005
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ImagineShannons/pseuds/ImagineShannons
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>'he could never do without him and he would give his life to save the boy with a death wish'<br/>In which Bucky protects the Brooklyn Boy with newspapers in his shoes</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> fic coming soon

"Fine, I'll do it."

Zola merely smirked across the excessively furnished office. "Excellent, we begin tomorrow so be here at 0800 hours soldier, I don't need to tell you what will happen if you fail to arrive." The previously falsely sweet smile dropped from Zola’s face as he said this; clearly showing the threat in his words. As Bucky got up to high tail it out of there and make the most of his last hours he was stopped by a curt cough. “I do believe soldiers salute their superiors before turning their backs on them” The wince was missed by Zola as Bucky turned, giving a reluctant salute to a man he could easily throttle however all thoughts were focused on getting out. This was too much, he was overwhelmed.

Once greeted with the cold embrace that was the Russian weather, the past day’s events bombarded Bucky’s mind, overpowering any self-control he had and leaving him to collapse under the weight of his decision. After receiving word of Steve plunging into the Arctic everyone had been at a standstill. Peggy in a deep mourning, Howard caught in disbelief and even General Phillips regretting the doubt he harboured over Steve. Bucky didn't hear of it till days after and was given no time to process what was now a world without his best friend before he was transported directly to Dr Zola.

There, he was faced with the facts: Red Skull was dead after being defeated by cap, the tesseract was frozen in the Arctic, the delicate nature of the tesseract leaves it unstable in such an environment and, unfortunately for Bucky, Steve had frozen with it. Dr Zola had then explained that the black box recorder and tracking system on the ship crashed into the Arctic could still be located, given the correct equipment. Said equipment was very hard to obtain and the services of specialists may be needed for re-con and doing the dirty work. Zola give Bucky an offer, either help them to recover the tesseract and save Steve or leave and they kill Steve onsite. The decision should have been easy but there was just one detail complicating the decision -- in order to help recover to tesseract and save Steve, he would have to give up all memories of his life including every detail of his time with his best friend.

Bucky’s choice was made after brief deliberation, either way he’d be losing Steve hopefully this way everybody else doesn’t have to. Besides, Steve would have Peggy and would be happy without him, he just needed to get his friend back.


	2. Chapter 2

Time passed as it always does when one dreads the future, rapidly. Bucky’s final night was spent in a seedy bar near the base, not wanting to waste time searching for a better option he holed himself up in the corner and drank. Here he reminisced on the days spent carefree in Brooklyn with Steve -- for that’s what they were, every one of them, with Steve. From his youngest memories Bucky recalls scouting the neighbourhood with his fragile companion looking for the perfect spot for their next adventure. Their favourite was the roof of their apartment building. Here Steve would spend hours drawing Bucky and the sunset on the New York skyline while Bucky studied the way the light hit the tip of Steve’s nose and danced in his pale hair while lying in the rays of a dying sun. As they grew, this would be the place Bucky had the abrupt realization that this was all he wanted for now and forever -- for him and Steve to be together without a worry. The recognition of the depth of his feelings for Steve came along with it; he could never do without him and he would give his life to save the boy with a death wish. He loved him.

He never told Steve of his deeper affection, believing Steve would never return such feelings. He continued to care for Steve as he always did and support Steve on his crusade for justice with more fervour, hoping to dissuade their opponents from coming back for Steve when Bucky was unable to look out for him. He began working double shifts to provide Steve with the extra income he needed to take care of himself and his mother. Steve never accepted these offers of Bucky’s financial aid and because of this, Bucky took to sneaking the money into Steve’s wallet or buying the supplies and dropping them off in Steve’s apartment while he was out, using the key he was given years ago.

Bucky’s most cherished memory is of the mornings spent upon their rooftop on New Year’s Day every year. No matter how they spent their evenings bringing in the New Year, either with their families or eventually out at parties it would always be together and then, they alone would come up to their spot to watch the sun’s first rise and speak of the dreams they held for the New Year. Bucky would always marvel at how selfless Steve’s wishes were, the far off look his gaze would shift to and the small smile that would grace his lips as he sat and thought of the year ahead. Bucky would watch Steve fondly and Bucky’s own hopes begun to shift under the influence of his friend. In later years, Bucky would not even make any wishes, knowing he could get by and swearing to aid Steve in any way possible to reach his dreams.

All of these reminiscences joined with the alcohol to drown Bucky into a docile state. He did however manage to pull himself together enough to drag himself to the phone, using all his remaining money to bribe the barman and call his Howling Commando’s. He kept it brief, knowing his level of intoxication he didn’t trust himself not to get emotional. “I’m sorry I had to call, I would have rather you have all thought me dead to make this easier but I’m getting Steve back. He’s coming back no matter what I have to do.” The frantic demands of his locations were ignored as he hung up and passed the phone back over the bar. He then dragged himself out of the bar and further into the mountains to continue this tradition. Though it was not New Year’s Eve and he was alone, Bucky saw it fitting that this, the twilight of their friendship, should be spent in the way most fondly remembered by them both. Here he gave his final farewell to Steve and cried over the knowledge of what was to come.


	3. Chapter 3

Bucky’s call had been unnerving for all those at the military base that day. “I would have rather you have all thought me dead” “I’m getting Steve back. He’s coming back no matter what I have to do.” No one understood; Steve was lost in the Arctic and was not returning. Yet, many dared to believe in the foolish promise of a dead man. Howard, personally, thought it to be an act – a simulation of sorts – by Hydra. This theory was confirmed to him when he tracked the message back to a seedy bar in Russia; it was a trap for them all set out by the remaining members of Red Skull’s army, he was convinced. Still, he’d didn’t understand how they had gotten the encrypted number, only high ranking officers were issued with the line in case of emergency. After another week without incident, he had written it off as a hoax, there had been no other calls from ‘Bucky’ and so he forgot about it and continued work with Peggy and Colonel Phillips to establish the counterterrorism and intelligence agency, S.H.I.E.L.D.

This forgotten trick was dragged back to the forefront of his mind after a break-in he suffered around a month later. The intruders had passed by countless weapons and blueprints he had developed for the war, instead taking some of his more insignificant work. In his spare time, when the stress of his work was relieved from him, Howard played around with the notion of mind control – doing research on brain functions and how to manipulate them by sending an electric current to chosen synapses specifically erasing memories from a person’s mind to help cure PTSD. He had also done work on aiding amputee victims after the war and had drawn up designs for cybernetic limbs to serve as replacements. They were all very basic and vague however every notebook, every blueprint had been stolen.

His choice to investigate ‘Bucky’s’ phone call after the disappearance of his work could be described as the beginning of the end for Howard. At first, he was stumped for ideas of where to begin looking but started by searching through the files they had managed to recover from Hydra’s numerous bases. In these, he found vague references to The Asset - a weapon which was in progression to be built come the next year following a raid on one of Howard’s facilities. Howard panicked, immediately requesting all the files that S.H.I.E.L.D had gotten possession of through the raids they had been conducting on Hydra station. He’d spent countless hours analysing correspondences and documents when he found it – a mid-level personnel member had made reference to the asset and had slipped up just enough for Howard to make his next revelation.

‘The Asset has been successfully wiped however any further progression has been delayed due to his temporarily unstable state.’

It took a moment for this to register in Howard’s mind. The Asset was a person. There was only one choice of subject that made sense but Howard didn’t want to accept it. He couldn’t.


	4. Chapter 4

It had been months since Howard had figured out that Bucky was most likely The Asset. At first, he’d rejected the idea, Bucky wasn’t a traitor and he’d never give up so easily, it didn’t make sense. Until, he was forced to face the phone call. Bucky himself said he’d do whatever he could to get Steve back, regardless of the cost. This must have been it - the price he was willing to pay– working with Hydra at the cost of his own memories and free will. He had then tried to track down what exactly had happened to him, wanting to try and recover whatever he could of the undoubtedly broken man to no avail. He simply seemed to have vanished off of Hydra’s records closely following the message of the wipe. He pushed to find something, anything, of their missing friend but he seemed to be a dead end.

Hydra had been dismantled for half a decade - in all this time, Howard’s unyielding search had continued, though not one piece of evidence was found to show any sign of Bucky’s survival or location - before the first ‘accident’ occurred. The new senator had been in a front end collision while on his way home from a political meeting and had died upon impact. S.H.I.E.L.D, after being contacted when foul play was suspected, found the break lines had been tampered with but they give up hope of finding the suspect when no other evidence was recovered from the wreck.

Howard was beginning to believe Bucky had been killed to cut off Hydra’s loose ends until he saw one of the crime scene photos. A figure, though blurry, in the far distance stood out. His messy dark hair obscured any features on his face and although he couldn’t place why, he kept it for his own investigation.

This began a string of assassinations, every decade or so, a high ranking official would die in ‘accidents’. S.H.I.E.L.D denied their link due to they’re spread out pattern, no one person could be responsible. However Howard found, in every case, an image or evidence of the dark haired man’s presence. His exposure would vary in each image, some being far off, blurry shots and others, especially in more modern years, were clear, distinctive images of a man with growing dark hair - S.H.I.E.L.D dubbed him the winter soldier and wrote him off as a ghost story. Howard did not give up, this gave his search the revival it needed. He dove in, collecting all images of the man, interviewing witnesses who claimed the man to be partially bionic– his left arm shone as though made of some polished metal - Howard was unnerved hearing this but kept pushing for all the information they had and the finding the material from the original Hydra records discussing The Asset he had kept.

Come 1970’s, Howard had given up hope of recovering Bucky. Though the assassinations continued, he would be gone in an instant and Howard had no way of predicting his hits. He was in Washington to display his latest invention when he heard the bang. He swiftly ducked, trying to protect himself from any further shots but none were heard, up on the stage people were flurrying around the a still figure. Howards head shot in the direction of the shot, the rooftop of an apartment building just down the street and caught a glimpse of the light reflecting off of something metal before it was gone, he reacted without hesitation.

 

Running down the alley paralleling the building Howard knew he had to act fast if he had any hope of catching another sight of who he prayed to be Bucky. His efforts were rewarded when he exited the alley as he saw the door at the back of the building begin to open.

“Bucky!”


	5. Chapter 5

The man who passed the threshold looked nothing like his lost friend, being both Bucky and not. This man had a hard, unforgiving stare and showed no sign of recognition at the cry of Howard however possessed the features of the lost man. He stopped, looking to be debating whether to attack or run.

“Leave, civilian.”

“No, Bucky, it’s me, Howard.”

“Who the hell is Bucky?”

“It’s you! It’s who you are!” Bucky’s confused look merely spurred Howard on, he knew that he wouldn’t recognise him but he had a small chance at setting something, anything, back.

“That is incorrect, now leave civilian.”

“You are Sergeant James Buchanan Barnes you were a Howling Commando formerly a soldier of the 107th infantry. Your best friend is Steve Grant Rogers better known as Captain America and he called you Bucky.” He saw the confusion make way to an angry, conflicted look. He looked away from Howard, his defensive pose shifting as he went slack. His eyes flashed back to Howard, as thorough halfheartedly check for signs of attack but were quickly returned to the ground.

“You need to get out of here.”

“No, Bucky, I’m not leaving yo-“ Bucky slung forward with a knife pulled from his boot. Howard, though alarmed and scared refused to leave. He was determined to recover something of Bucky.

“I don’t know what game you’re playing but it won’t work, I have a rendezvous point two blocks east of here and reinforcements will arrive if I miss it. You cannot win.”

“I’m not trying to fight you, I am unarmed but you are Bucky.”

“No I’m not.”

“Then who are you?”

“That information is classified.”

“To whom? You?”

“It is classified. Now leave.”

“N-“ Bucky barged past Howard, round a corner and was gone.


End file.
